Father Figure
by bjxmas
Summary: 7.10 Death's Door tag – A series of drabbles – Sometimes life throws you a curve, like assuming the role of Dad when you least expect it. Sometimes family comes together because of mutual need. A bond like that is unbreakable. Bobby Love!
1. Best Laid Plans

7.10 Death's Door tag – A series of drabbles

_For ucat42 who inspired me to take a trek inside Bobby's custard_

Father Figure

Chapter One – Best Laid Plans

I never wanted to be a dad.

Never wanted to extend the line.

Figured I'd be just like him.

A drunk and a bully.

Worthless.

It was all I knew.

It took two young boys.

Kids who needed someone to stand up for them.

A reflection of me at that age.

Scared, alone, lost.

John's abuse was more neglect.

Unreasonable expectations.

Lost himself.

I found myself looking out for them.

Like no one did for me.

All it took was the first glimmer of hope.

That first hesitant smile.

To hell with all my plans.

Those boys were mine now.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_How much do I love Bobby? I love him as my own uncle, as that force of good in the boys' lives, as a hero and a man worthy. His gruff ways only make me love him more because he is a man you can depend on. A man who can bring the Winchesters to the verge of shattering because he is that important in their lives. Bobby made a difference…and he still does. We can't lose Bobby, we can't! _

_I hadn't planned on writing…was too immersed in the moment of the most gloriously passionate and heartfelt episode of Season Seven and then Caroline urged me on and got me thinking. So I guess, as time permits, I'll be writing a series of drabbles from Bobby's perspective. These days that seems to be about the only writing I can manage, something short and to the point._

_I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment if it moves you or if you simply want to join in the Bobby-love and vigil. January 6th is a long way off…_

_Later, B.J._


	2. Loss Bleeds Over Us All

Chapter Two – Loss Bleeds Over Us All

John's an ass.

We've all had loss.

All seen things no one should ever see.

He's not alone in this.

He's got those boys.

Boys who have lost even more.

I know he loves 'em.

But he needs to be there.

Quit this running around, risking his life,

Trying his damnedest to get himself killed.

He dies and leaves those boys alone and I'm gonna kill him!

I'm not father material.

But if he's not gonna be there then I damn well will!

They're good kids.

I'd be proud to call them my own.

They sure as hell deserve better…

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_For the record, I love John but I am not blind to his faults. I think that's one of the hardest things to reconcile, how he did love his boys, how they obviously loved him, and how Dean with no one else to hold firm to idolized him. It is what boys do; they look to their fathers to see how to be a man. John was lost so much of the time, buried in grief and unable to dig out. In that respect he failed them. But with the help of Bobby, they raised good men, strong men, heroes able to do the job._

_Thank goodness Sam and Dean had Bobby to temper the harshness of their lives. He gave them what sense of normal they ever had, the chance to throw a ball or watch a movie, a place to call home. John was too consumed by the terror of what was coming for his boys to offer them that refuge. John's main concern was training them and keeping them alive. Bobby's main concern was giving them a life._

_Bobby was such a powerful force in their lives and now we know with certainty that they were just as powerful in his. They became family._

_Thanks for reading, comments?_

_Later, B.J._


	3. Second Chance

Chapter Three – Second Chance

I loved Karen.

More than I ever thought I could love someone.

That last fight.

Her tears.

Angry words lashing out.

Biggest regret of my life.

Never got the chance to right that wrong.

Never explained.

Never shared.

I always knew I didn't want kids.

Never understood the need.

For me, family wasn't a good thing.

Being a son.

Being a father.

All I knew was pain.

Fear.

Shame.

Why continue the cycle?

Then I met the boys.

Everything changed.

I felt the love.

Understood that pride.

It was good.

That's when I knew what being a dad could be.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_And that's when the boys knew what it meant to have someone on their side. Someone not as immersed in the pain, someone able to attend to their needs. Bobby kept the boys from falling into that same pit of despair that John succumbed to. He gave them a home, in the physical sense with a homebase at the salvage yard and in his house, and in his heart, a place of refuge and comfort when needed._

_Happy Holidays! _

_B.J._


	4. Lucky in Love

Chapter Four – Lucky in Love

John's lucky.

He's got himself two fine boys.

A part of Mary to hold tight to.

Me…

I got nothin'.

A dead wife…no family.

I wish I could take back that fight.

Tell her we'd have a ton of rugrats.

Then I'd have something to remember her by.

She'd have made a great mom.

Those boys need a mother's touch.

Instead they're saddled with two broken men.

I get so damn furious with John.

I know he's hurting…

We're all hurting.

But those boys.

They need someone.

Someone to look out for them.

Guide them.

Love them.

I'll be there.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I love that Bobby was there for them. That he loved them as his own and gave them_

_the support they needed. I always wonder what the fight was between Bobby and_

_John that caused him to cock the shotgun and made Dean question whether they_

_should come to Bobby at the end of S1. I'm pretty sure the fight was about the_

_boys, about how John was raising them or treating them. I think Bobby was_

_standing up for them…which would just put Dean in that hard place between two men he loved,_

_appreciating that Bobby cared, but never wanting to go against his dad. _

_Thanks for reading and reviews would be nice. – B.J._


	5. Heroes and Cowards

Chapter Five – Heroes and Cowards

Dean was ten when he asked me why John and I were always fighting.

Bristling against each other, at odds.

How do you tell a kid his dad's an idiot?

How do you take away the man he looks up to?

I couldn't.

Not when I knew how much love was there.

That's what made it so hard on Dean.

He needed to believe in John.

Needed to believe that all their sacrifice meant something.

Needed a hero.

John was, in his way.

But he was also a failure.

Retreating from their love like a coward.

Scared of more loss.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I still love John, always have, always will. But he was messed up at times. The true tragedy here is the family man who was destroyed on November 2, 1983…the dad that was and would have been, the man Dean gleefully rushed into his welcoming arms. As a marine I think John hardened his heart and ignored the pain he caused his sons, fought Bobby on the details of their upbringing, turning into that drill sergeant and abandoning a father's loving care in favor of not chancing another loss. _

_Bobby was in a tough spot, watching out for the boys without pissing John off too much, without risking that John would pack up the boys and he'd never see them again._

_Thanks for reading. Anonymous comments are allowed if you don't want to bother signing in. Later, B.J._


	6. Sophie's Choice

_So much for word control…this is a triple drabble. Yep, you heard right, 300 words. This is Bobby we're talking about, he can damn well use as many words as he wants to get his message across! He don't follow the rules, he makes the rules…or breaks them with intent! _

Chapter Six – Sophie's Choice

Some damn fool asked me which one of the boys I loved the most.

Idjit!

It's not a contest.

I sure as hell ain't the grand prize.

I love 'em both, dammit!

They're different, each their own man.

Each deserving of being treated as such.

It's true, Dean reminds me of me.

That ain't always a good thing, but it means I _get_ him.

I still screw up, push when I should sit back and wait,

Let him get to it in his own time.

Sam, well, he's somethin'!

Tends to surprise me, catch me off guard.

Oh, we're alike too, in our love of books, in digging for the truth.

They both have anger in them.

Riled up by the injustice, in their lives…in the world.

Dean tends to blow up, the belligerent one…

That is, when it's someone other than his dad.

That's where he was most like me.

Quiet, reverent…_scared._

Leery of losing that special bond.

Sam, well, he tends to push.

Demand attention, demand his rights.

Sometimes I think he was trying to raise John's ire.

I think Sam felt a little lost.

Torn between worshiping big brother and trying to compete.

His input not needed.

Which one do I love the most?

_Both!_

_When _they need it and _how_ they need it.

I love 'em with everything I got.

There's more than enough love to go around.

Could I ever choose between them?

No.

Never.

I'd die first.

For both of them.

I'd fight heaven and hell to save either of them.

I have.

And I would again.

I'd take on a dozen reapers…a _hundred._

I'd face down Death himself to stay.

To keep them from losing one more person in their lives.

They mean that much.

Not gonna leave 'em now.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_We still don't know the outcome, what Bobby's decision was, but I'm guessing he drank the beer or poured it out. With Dean on the verge of cracking and Sam's wall cracked and letting Hell through...nope, Bobby would not leave his boys. He's watching over them and always will._

_Man, I love this show and all The Winchesters. Uncle Bobby is special, to them and to us. _

_Thanks again, B.J._


	7. I Need a Hero

Chapter Seven – I Need a Hero

A boy should have a father he respects.

Someone to admire.

A man he wants to be like.

Dean looks up to John.

Hell, he idolizes him.

The boy's got a big heart.

Forgives all the times John's not there.

Rationalizes the cruel words and slights.

John's all he's got to hold on to.

Everything else stripped away.

It may not be right.

But I can't shatter that bond.

I can't tell him he's wrong.

Tell him his father's just as lost as he is.

What good would that do?

Taking away the last hope he has to cling to?

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_Bobby always was a wise one. Able to relate to Dean and his needs. His focus on the boys first, the job second. John just got twisted up in the job too much and failed to see the harm he was causing his sons. There was more in their lives that could hurt them besides monsters..._

_Thanks for reading, reviews welcome._


	8. Pressure

Chapter Eight - Pressure

Dean always had to be strong around John.

In front of Sam.

Playing his part.

Confident.

Cocky.

Cool.

The kid was a tough nut to crack.

Unsure what I was up to.

Unclear why I'd bother.

Undeserving in his mind.

Of care.

Or concern.

Dean deserved so much more than what he was getting.

I was determined he'd have it.

It took awhile.

Quiet moments.

Small reveals.

Until he finally relaxed enough to understand.

He could be himself around me.

No pretense.

No bluster.

No walls.

Himself.

And he knew that was good enough.

It eased the pressure...just a tad.

The End

bjxmas

January 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_Next two chapters change things up a bit. First comes Dean's reflections on Bobby's influence in his life, and then Sam's. The true worth of a man comes from the impact his life made on the world. Bobby changed Sam and Dean's lives, guided them into the men who became heroes worthy of saving the planet. Yeah, Bobby's life meant something...on a very personal level and on a global scale._

_Thanks for reading. Take care, B.J._


	9. Trust, Respect and Love

Chapter Nine – Trust, Respect and Love

At first I didn't trust him.

Didn't trust anyone.

I was responsible for Sam.

Wasn't about to let that go.

I was Dad's little man.

No longer a boy, not anymore.

Somehow Bobby made it alright

To throw a ball or watch a movie.

To play.

He always respected me,

And I grew to respect him.

Somewhere he became a part of my family.

My friend, my support.

A father who was there in all the ways that mattered.

I didn't love Dad any less.

But I loved Bobby for letting me be,

And telling me that was good enough.

The End

bjxmas

January 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_Bobby and Dean had/have that special bond. With Bobby's backstory, we now understand why. He knew how it felt to disappoint a father, he understood the longing for approval and the devastation of feeling you fall short. For a kid it all gets jumbled up, the love and fear, the need and the reality of your wants going unfulfilled. _

_I think it has got to be a little easier to have a dick of a Dad like Bobby's dad, that maybe you can move past the slights and maybe one day realize that it was 'him' not you. Maybe... In Dean's case, John loved him, wanted the best for him and yet...he was unable to 'see' Dean and tend to his emotional needs. That's where the rationalization comes in, the blanket forgiveness and the self-flagellation because you have to believe in your father...and you have to love him. At least Dean did. _

_I still believe Dean needs to resolve his issues with his dad. John was not the horrible deadbeat dad Dean started to think he was. He was messed up and scared and yes, he did damage, but he loved his boys, died for them and there has to be some middle ground...some understanding that everyone did the best they could in an impossible situation._

_Thank god the boys had Bobby. Bobby showed Dean how to be a father, how to love unconditionally and fiercely. And that love doesn't have to hurt._

_Thanks for reading. Later, B.J._


	10. I Remember Bobby

Chapter Ten – I Remember Bobby

He was always Uncle Bobby.

Always there.

I remember how he encouraged my curiosity.

How carefully he guided me, back before I knew.

And when I did know, he made it better.

Giving me answers when no one else would.

I never felt like I belonged in my family.

But Bobby's house was home.

A place where I did belong.

I spent hours in his library.

Searching for answers...finding myself.

Bobby never made me feel different.

He'd give me that look.

Call me idjit.

And I knew it was okay.

No matter what happened,

I always knew he'd be there.

The End

bjxmas

January 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I believe that Bobby and Sam had their own special relationship, based in mutual admiration and their own brand of love. What they shared doesn't have to be the same as what Bobby and Dean had. Sam had different needs, and most importantly he had Dean to help fill the void John's absences left. Sam wasn't as desperate to have someone in his corner, someone he looked up to that validated who he was. _

_It breaks my heart for those boys to lose this man, this father figure. I can't believe he is gone and I'm holding out for his return. Sam and Dean need him, WE need him. And it makes us all realize, a house is not a home, rather it's the people who surround you, that love you and give you shelter, that bless us with the comforts of home. _

_Thanks for reading...now, dammit, where's that tissue?_

_Later, B.J._


	11. Love and Loss

Chapter Eleven – Love and Loss

"_You die before me and I'll kill you!"_

I said it and I meant it.

There's been too many Winchester deaths.

Dean's date with Hell was the worst.

A year of fear…then the reality.

His chest ripped open...eyes vacant.

Those four months almost killed me.

Buried in a bottle.

My family gone.

Sam and I should have been there for each other.

But with pain that intense.

Sometimes you can't.

Like Dean when Sam went into the pit...

I'm not ready to let go.

I need to know they'll be alright.

That they'll stick together and see this through.

The End

bjxmas

December 2011

All standard disclaimers apply.

_And again, it's not that Bobby loved Dean more so his death hurt more. Maybe Sam's was easier because his one life meant billions were saved. Despite the terrible ache for the one lost, there was immense pride for Sam's courage and sacrifice...and resignation that it had to be. With Dean it was one life for one life. And with Bobby loving them both, it was the ultimate injustice, the impossible choice, an affront against the natural order. Then an entire year to live with the knowledge and a last ditch effort to reverse Dean's fate that failed miserably, it had to wear on a father's strength. Sam leaving was the ultimate loss there, the finality of losing them both._

_Thanks for reading. Comments?_


	12. Danger Calls

Chapter Twelve – Danger Calls

Sure, there's danger in staying.

But when isn't there danger?

They're _my_ boys and they've lost enough.

Are hurting too damn much.

Dean's already got too many marbles locked up in his lead box.

He sure don't need me dying to add to his pile.

And Sam, if his pinata breaks, who's gonna pick up all the pieces?

That kid's hangin' on by a thread.

They're damn strong, but the pressure's building.

They need me.

I can't let them down.

I won't!

They've been through enough.

Suffered enough.

Lost enough.

Not gonna lose me too.

I am seeing this through.

The End

bjxmas

January 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_That's the Bobby we all know and love!_

_There is one more chapter in this verse. Thanks for sharing this time with my stories._

_Later, B.J. _


	13. Someone To Watch Over Me

Chapter Thirteen – Someone to Watch Over Me

I've been watching them.

They're so quiet.

Shell-shocked.

Devastated.

Alone in their grief.

So stubborn.

Each silently watching the other.

But refusing to reach out.

Half afraid that any emotion

Might open the floodgates.

Unleash all their need.

Rip open that fragile wound.

Expose all their hurts and fears.

Those damn walls of theirs set.

Impenetrable.

Protection from what they're feeling.

All they've lost.

I wish I could talk to them.

Hug them.

Offer them some comfort.

For now I'm here.

Hoping I can help.

Steer them back towards each other.

Make them see that grieving me does no good.

The End

bjxmas

January 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_Well, that's it. I love Bobby so damn much, love how he cares for the boys, love how he's always been there for them. I know he's with them now, through some of their darkest moments in lives filled with darkness and pain. He'd never leave them, the fighter in him won't allow it._

_I just want them to feel his love. I want him back so he can call them idjits. I want to see their smiles when they know with certainty that he loves them and that he refused to move on because of that deep, unending fatherly love. _

_Thanks for coming along on this journey, Until next time, take care, B.J._


	14. There You Are

_I thought this verse was complete, but I happily admit I was wrong. How could I pass up the chance to comment on Bobby's return? I suspect I'll be further inspired when Supernatural airs its next new episode on April 20th, so stayed tuned. Rock on, Bobby!_

7.18 Party On, Garth tag

Chapter Fourteen – There You Are

I Jedi'd that sword back into Dean's hand and he knew.

Felt my presence.

Finally!

Been at his side since he appropriated my flask.

Watching.

Waiting.

Helping where I could.

_With_ my boys.

Still in the fight.

That look on his face...hope and need.

Hits me where it hurts.

Fills me with love.

Knew I'd made the right choice.

Panic struck when he walked away.

Relief...when he came back!

Warmth filling out his features when he saw me.

_There you are. _

There he was.

Right friggin' next to me but...

Damn idjit looked right through me!

So close.

So far.

The End

bjxmas

April 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_In other breaking news, I am over-the-moon by the shocking but most-welcome announcement that Jeremy Carver is returning to the fold! He is quite possibly my favorite Supernatural writer from a stable of amazingly talented and inventive writers. I love and respect Sera and will miss her terribly, she has been a huge part of Supernatural's success through the years. I wish she would stay on as a writer. She was a guiding force in S1 that took Supernatural to greater heights than Kripke ever envisioned. She's a wonderful writer, showing us her brilliance with Dead in the Water, Faith, Fresh Blood and so many other awesome episodes. I swear, Fresh Blood is quote-worthy from start to finish. Possibly the most perfect script ever, with everything I love about Supernatural: tension and conflict, humor and horror, action and character insight! Not to mention, the always enjoyable Gordon Walker and one of my all-time favorite brothers-bonding-by-the-side-of-the-road endings. Guh...thank goodness for the rewind button!_

_I guess you have to look at it as a business. As a writer I could never give up the joy of having Jensen Ackles say my dialogue, putting his own stamp on it and elevating it to greater heights. Having Jensen and Jared acting my scenes would be a dream come true! I couldn't believe Jeremy gave that up two years ago, but I am so happy he is coming back! I expect great things from him and am excited about the infinite possibilities. Season Eight is going to be spectacular and I am hoping now for at least a run of ten years. There are so many Winchester stories still left to explore, more monsters to gank, and brotherly moments to observe._

_I'm hoping Jeremy is already outlining ways to bring Bobby back to the land of the living, along with a few other resurrections! Jeremy penned Mystery Spot and Changing Channels, two of our most innovative and intriguing episodes featuring another fav character, the Trickster. I sure hope this means he'll will find a way to bring back our errant angel, Gabriel! I miss Richard and the boys need a good laugh, even if it is at their expense!_

_Thanks for sharing the Bobby love. Man, it is awesome to have Bobby back! Yep, I got insanely emotional when he appeared. That last scene between Jim and Jensen was magic, what I've come to expect from our show! Kudos to Christopher Lennertz and Jay Gruska for their heart-tugging scores. I swear, I start crying from the sense-memory of what that music means. _

_Man...I LOVE this show!_

_Thanks for reading. Happy Easter!_

_B.J._


	15. Stuck Here With You

7.19 Of Grave Importance tag

Chapter Fifteen - Stuck Here With You.

I still have work to do.

A purpose.

A reason to stay.

Dick and his Leviathans.

The world on the brink…_again. _

Dean's upset.

Speaks of the natural order.

I get it.

He feels guilty.

Wants what's best for me.

Rest.

Peace.

A cold beer with Ash at Harvelle's.

_Heaven._

Not more of the same.

Fighting.

Losing.

Fighting again.

That was life.

A hunter's life.

Just part of the package.

Never expected death to be an easy out.

Wasn't ready to let go.

Of them.

Of what I was,

What I could do.

I'm seeing this through.

They're stuck with me.

The End

bjxmas

April 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I love the complexity of Dean's reaction. Love that Jensen is so capable of expressing all those conflicting emotions; Dean's hope and fear simultaneously there in his eyes, in the timbre of his voice. He so nails Dean, all the rough and tender aspects, all the nuance of his reactions, a man constantly torn between what he wants which is in direct opposition to what he knows should be. His life, his conversations with Death, his experience with everything that has gone wrong when they messed with the natural order, the very fact that he himself should not be here, has shown him that sometimes you should just let it be, accept the loss and move on, that death should be an end. Easier said than done and yet Dean has learned that lesson…at least his head has. His heart has a mind of its own and I think seeing Bobby as a ghost, knowing what that means, the potential for more grief further down this road, has actually broken his heart a little bit more._

_What peace is there for any of them when they can't let go? If the dead are constantly with you? Weighing you down further and never allowing them or you to find that peace? As Dean so wisely stated, wanting him with us doesn't mean he should be._

_I think Annie perfectly summed up the typical hunter's response. The validation that your work is done and you deserve a little rest. They all deserve that rest…but not yet. Bobby's right, they have work to do._

_Thanks for coming along on this journey, it is bittersweet. The last thing I'd ever want for Bobby is to become an angry spirit, and yet I don't want to let go. I love him and I think the boys still need him. And he sure needs them. Family don't end with blood! Bobby taught us that and still lives it…_

_Later, B.J._


	16. Not Like Swayze

Chapter Sixteen - Not Like Swayze

Instant Swayze.

That's what Dean thought.

Turns out my experience as a hunter

Has nothin' to do with being a ghost.

I hunted them.

Didn't pick their brains.

This ghost thing is exhausting.

Trying to move things.

Trying to get those idjits to notice I was still here.

Shouting only made me hoarse.

My Zen meditation ain't exactly New-Age.

Seems the most I could hope for

Was a burst of adrenaline-spiked need.

Coming through for the boys

When they most needed it.

When I most needed to help.

It's a relief for them to finally see me.

It's a start.

The End

bjxmas

April 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_Thanks for reading and commenting…if the urge strikes. Yep, I'm still loving Bobby's return, even if it might mean more heartache to come. I have faith that they'll overcome. I don't see Sam and Dean ever salting 'n burning Bobby. Nope, so not happening. A hunter's funeral – Yes! Putting down a rabid ghost – No, completely unacceptable! Best-case scenario is much anxiety and potential for disaster…then a miraculous cure and Bobby is flesh and blood again. That is the Winchester Way, returning from the dead, beating the odds, setting their own rules. For the Winchester family that is the natural order!_

_Later, B.J._


	17. The Natural Order

Chapter Seventeen - The Natural Order

Dean's changed.

He's not who he used to be.

Crossroad deals.

Bargains.

Refusing to let go.

He's learned some things.

Seen the repercussions.

Felt the regret.

I see it in his eyes.

The uncertainty.

His wants wrestling against what he feels is right.

Death's mandate swaying him.

Making him reconsider.

Leading him to acceptance.

I can't say he's wrong.

He never thought he was special.

Never understood why _he_ was brought back.

I hope it's the same reason I was able to stay.

Work to do.

Unfinished business.

There'll be rest enough when the job's done.

When evil is vanquished.

The End

bjxmas

April 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I still think Show is moving Bobby into vengeful spirit material too quickly. I think it would take more time, more isolation, more turmoil to bring a man like Bobby Singer to that end. I would think the not-knowing part that most ghosts experience would seal their fate, along with the time factor of being in limbo for eternity. I would hope that Bobby understanding the choice he made AND him having the boys as support would allow him to function better. But Show wants to scare us, and they are doing a damn fine job of it. I just don't want this to end badly. I'm fine with the threat; I just want that Winchester luck to make it all right in the end._

_Thanks for reading, B.J._


	18. My Choice

Chapter Eighteen – My Choice

I thought I could handle it.

That I was different.

I'm not.

I'm heading down that road.

The anger I feel, the drive for vengeance.

It got the best of me.

It's a charge under my skin.

An itch I can't scratch.

Pulsing…_pushing._

Driving me to do things I shouldn't.

I'm dangerous.

Rabid.

It's time to let go of the fantasy.

Accept the truth.

I'm done.

I'm a liability now.

The boys are better off without me.

I still hate to leave them.

Want to watch over them.

Don't need them watching over me.

I'm leaving on my terms now.

The End

bjxmas

June 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I love Bobby so friggin' much! I don't question the writers normally, but I think they botched this by making ghost Bobby uncontrollable so quickly and without due cause. Bobby was better than this. Bobby deserved better, which is why I'm hoping Jeremy will fix things and bring Bobby back into the story._

_That said, there is no denying it was a poignant, if too brief, moment for Dean and Sam and us as they respectfully said goodbye. And it was a noble moment for Bobby, back to who we knew him to be, self-sacrificing as Winchesters are and able to curb his impulses and do the right thing. That part of the whole deal was very Winchester-like, sacrifice and strength…to do what was right and necessary. _

_I'm used to Supernatural tugging on my heartstrings. Used to them jerking me from laughter to horror and from comfortable to uneasy. I'm used to being surprised and shocked, but usually it is handled with better resolution and payoff. After the glory of Death's Door and bringing Bobby back in spectacular fashion in Party On, Garth and Of Grave Importance…the rest of his appearances felt lacking and rushed._

_Here's to the reign of Jeremy Carver and his team of top-notch writers. I am so excited for S8 and the reemergence of Bobby and what he means to the boys. What a reunion that will be!_

_Thanks for reading, all comments appreciated._

_Later, B.J._


	19. Endings Are Hard

Chapter Nineteen – Endings Are Hard

Everything's supposed to end.

_He _was supposed to end.

But not like this.

Angry.

Vengeful.

Out of control.

Possessing a girl.

Flying into a rage…

Breaking Charlie's arm.

Becoming something he'd hunt.

_Needing_ to be put down.

No longer a hunter's funeral.

Now a salt-and-burn.

Vanquishing a vengeful spirit.

Losing him all over again…

Except this time by our actions.

Tossing his flask on the fire.

Watching as Bobby disintegrated in a fireball.

It was _his _choice.

Deciding now to go and not stay.

A decision that would have been easier in the beginning.

So hard letting go.

_Rest, Bobby. _

The End

bjxmas

June 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

_I'm firmly in the camp that Bobby needs to return. I don't care about the 'reality' of death or making it mean something in their universe. I know death and that reality, as do the Winchesters. Supernatural is fantasy and a suspension of our disbelief. Sam and Dean need Bobby, as much as I need them to have someone in their corner who cares. _

_I care about Bobby and righting a wrong! I care that the Winchesters have other players to react to and care about, that they aren't abandoned out there, alone, shut-off from all resources and left to fend for themselves. In theory it made sense for the season, but in reality it never felt like it was working as intended._

_For S8, they need to bring back characters, re-establish bonds and let the characters interact and grow. Sam and Dean totally on their own is too claustrophobic after seven seasons. We gain much from seeing how they interact with characters that love them or hate them or are newly discovering them, and we can all use more Bobby-love when things get tough out there. _

_Who else is excited for S8? I love all of Supernatural, but I'm ready for Jeremy Carver to bring back more brotherly moments and to wow me again. Bring it!_

_This will be the last chapter until Bobby comes back. Then I might be inspired to add on._

_As always, thanks for reading and reviewing, that is, if you choose to leave a note. _

_B.J._


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